U.S. Treasury News

There has been a considerable amount of tension in the American populace concerning the availability of cash during the expected "hard times" ahead. Because current policies seem intent on devaluing the dollar, the $100 limit we have on bill value is expected to be insufficient to meet the demand. The Bureau of Printing and Engraving, which produces our paper money, expects the demand to increase far beyond the Bureau's ability to print enough of these notes. Therefore, in a cost effective move approved by DOGE, denominations of money in print and circulation will be expanded to include $1000, $10,000, $100,000 and $1 Million Federal Reserve Notes. All these will be backed by the full faith in the government of the United States of America and will be considered legal tender for all debts, public and private. As inflationary pressures drive prices higher than ever before, credit card limits will be unable to adjust to these new price levels. If needed, legislation has been formulated to allow for even higher values such as: $10 Million, $100 Million and $1 Billion notes.

          Economic advisors have recommended investing in American wheelbarrow manufactures. These useful devices will come in very handy for every family as they will be necessary to haul enough paper notes to the bakery to purchase a single loaf of bread. The good news is that egg prices have remained stable at only $20 per egg and are expected to remain less than $100 in the foreseeable future.

          As part of President Trump's Concept of a Plan for economic recovery, the US Treasury will be giving each family valuable assistance to meet their needs. Each head of household will be issued a new tin cup, a five pound bag of surplus apples and appropriate signage to help them set up on the closest street corner. Be sure to pay all income taxes on these earned funds.

          Because of market losses, currently at 25%, 401k's will now be called 301k. If the market drops further, 201k, 101k, 50k and 10k are also available to protect what is left of your retirement savings.