DEPARTMENT UV MISTAKE
LEADERSHIP

Secretary G.A. Lighterman

          The Secretary of the Department uv Mistake (SoDUM) is Gaston A. Lighterman, PhD. A long-time advocate for reduction in governmental stupidity, Dr. Lighterman has had a long career in public and private service. Born and raised in Wayward, California. As the first-born child in a French-Irish Jewish family, Gaston quickly learned to boss his younger siblings around and other enduring leadership experiences. Early on in this heterogenous home, he became a world-class expert in preparing culinary dishes like soda bread dill pickle quiche, whiskey sauce latke crepes, Irish stew au vin with matzah balls and flavored seltzer water.

          He received his Bachelor of Arts in Psychoscamology at University of California at Sonova Beach in 1989. He later received his Doctorate of Philosophistry in Advanced and Applied Psychoscamology at The Generic Institute of Technology (GIT) in Paso Nobles, California in 1993. He went on to teach Psychoscamology for eight years at GIT, earning the L. Ektick Chair in the Dept. of Psychocamology.

          His public service began when he was appointed by the Sonova Beach City Council to lead the Commission to End Civic Corruption. Dr. Lighterman served for one year at this post and due to his efforts, the entire council was convicted of corruption and he was out of a job. He then served in various city and county commissions including: Chief Canine Incarceration Officer, County Activated Sludge Manager and Commissioner of Simian Business.

It was this last position that influenced Governor ‘Fifty Shades’ Gray Davis to appoint Dr. Lighterman Secretary of Public Sanity as his last act in 2003 after the people of California voted in their second actor governor. As Secretary, he was instrumental in keeping California the sanest state in the Union. During the next fourteen years, he worked with succeeding administrations to root out primal stupidity, braindead public programs and asinine policy statements.

          Unfortunately, his limited budget forced him to concentrate on only the most-inane proposals. California law has many provisions that make no sense and could be interpreted as hilarious in some contexts. Or in any context. Dr. Lighterman worked diligently to rescind laws prohibiting the use of false whiskers, fraudulent fastening of fraternity pins, women wearing housecoats while driving a motor vehicle, allowing the telephone to ring more than nine times or have caller ID, or crying on the witness stand. Although unsuccessful in removing these restrictive activities, he was able to increase public awareness to the danger these laws present.

          Dr. Lighterman was appointed United States Hoaxmaster General by President Barak Obama on January 19, 2017 as his last official act. He was able to serve in that position for seventeen hours and thirty-seven minutes, making him one of the briefest public office holders in American political history.

He returned to the private sector, joining the prestigious law firm of Howard, Fine and Howard as a consultant in the fields of psychoscamology, confraudulation and down-right primeval idiocy. Dr. Lighterman helped the firm in many high-profile cases over the next seven years, including Brown v. Orange County, Woe v. Raid, Church’s v. Kentucky, Ranch v. Thousand Islands, Black v. Cream and Sugar, Koch v. Peppsie, Winter v. Summer and Souppe v. Sallade. 

          President Biden called upon Dr. Lighterman to rejoin the federal government in the newly created Department uv Mistake. But without a staff or a budget, SoDUM had to rely on friends and family to help with the paperwork and other needs.