Opportunities for Federal Funding

          The effects of DOGE have been felt throughout all federal departments and agencies. Some have been forced to shutter their windows and shut their doors. This does not imply the services provided by these agencies no longer has a value, rather that the US government no longer wishes to provide the public with helpful amenities. DUM was, in part, set up as a think tank to assist these agencies in obtaining necessary financial resources to continue. These DUM ideas have been disseminated to all affected departments.

         As noted above, several agencies have followed DUM’s lead and began their GOFUNDME programs. To date, because the DUM budget is unlikely to exceed $15,000, we are the only agency to raise a significant percentage of our operating costs.

         Other means of raising funds include corporate sponsorship with naming rights attached. SpaceX NASA, The Tesla Department of Transportation, The X Press Secretary, The Boring Company Department of Commerce, The PayPal Department of the Treasury, The Pfizer Department of Health and Human Services, The Exxon-Mobile Department of Energy and The CHS Inc. Department of Agriculture are only the first few departments and agencies to utilize this innovative means of raising income. Expect more agencies to embrace this in the future.

         Federal Employees will be issued white, cylindrical cans emblazoned with their department logo. Slots will be cut into one metal end to allow for money collection. Each employee will be assigned to stand in front of supermarkets, big box retailers, home supply companies and other businesses. Employees will keep 15% against their salary, the remainder being used to fund their agency.

         Letters and emails will be sent to American citizens, purportedly from sources outside of the country. This is done because it is illegal for the US Government to beg for money, it may only take it without permission. These may ask the recipient to share personal data to help recover foreign monies. If you are participating in one of these financial endeavors, rest assured that all these schemes are legitimate and all money collected will be used to fund our government.