Joni Ernst Destroys Childhood!

After Senator Joni Ernst (R-Iowa) defended potential deaths from Medicaid cuts with a flippant response, "Well, we're all going to die," her constituents complained at her town hall. The Senator made a weak and sarcastic attempt to apologize for her statement.

But then she went one step too far. Joni Ernst attacked a spotless icon of childhood, the very Tooth Fairy herself. This character, beloved by children throughout our nation for generations, has been tirelessly exchanging boys' and girls' baby teeth for money. Every night, she has gone out to visit the homes of millions of children to give them money for their teeth. A fantastic, devoted and caring creature selflessly making childhood lives brighter and happier. This should have been left alone.

But not for Joni Ernst. She made disparaging comments about the Tooth Fairy, questioning the poor Fairy's very existence. Children all across the nation are depressed and miserable. They go to bed, place a recently lost tooth under their pillow. But instead of a reward, the child wakes up to NOTHING!

Ernst's rampage did not end there. She went on to sow seeds of doubt about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Great Pumpkin, Lucky the Leprechaun, Tony the Tiger, Ronald McDonald, Micky Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Flo the Insurance Lady, Mr. Clean, The Disney Princesses, Big Bird, Snoopy, Freddy Krueger, the Late Great Hannibal Lector, Al Capone and many other beloved children's fantasy characters.

When approached by her district voters, she doubled down and told them to believe if they pray, then religious figures will save them. But only certain religious figures.

Senator Ernst was asked by DUM employees for a comment and has not replied.