Marco Rubio

Accomplishments: Allowed Donald Trump to insult him and his father repeatedly and still supported him for president. Has more integrity in his pinkie toenail than the rest of the Trump 2.0 Administration combined. Is just Hispanic enough to give Trump an opportunity to say he doesn’t hate all Hispanic people.
Qualifications: Miami City Commissioner, Florida State Representative, US Senator Florida 2011-2025. Wait a second, he may be qualified to be Secretary of State. That’s why he’s the odds-on favorite to be the first high level Trump Cabinet official to quit or be fired.
Philosophy: If I blink my eyes three times, maybe Trump’s messed up foreign policy will just go away…