Karoline Leavitt

Accomplishments: Worked for MAGA Inc. PAC. Pro-voucher and school choice. Anti-vaccine mandates. Falsely stated $50 million is spent on giving Gaza Strip condoms. Helped Trump move to strip AP of press credentials until the agency referred to Gulf of Mexico as Gulf of America. Is just young enough to give Trump an opportunity to say he doesn’t hate all young people.
Qualifications: Pretty smile and bottle perfect blond hair. Can lie about any topic faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful fact spinning than a locomotive. Able to leap to tall conclusions in a single bound. Kinda looks like Supergirl, doesn't she?
Philosophy: Why can’t you just accept what I’m telling you. You are foreign press—I don’t have to answer your questions.